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Why Does My Child Have Low Self-Esteem?

May 15, 2019

You bring your sullen god-king for

"Self-esteem counseling,"

as if that's something that we

can infuse into him by


some therapeutic shamanism

and I notice the desperate hope

in your eyes that when he leaves

my couch


he'll strut out that door

with his head held high,

feeling good about whom

he has now become.


At some level, maybe I'm at

fault, hanging my counselor 

shingle on the door as if

I really had your answers


so perhaps I need to take 

some collective responsibility

that your teenage son is suffering

from his "low self-esteem," as

I'm part of the society in which

he was raised.



You want the answer?

I can give it to you but

I'm pretty sure you

won't like it.


Your child has low self-esteem




in first grade,

everyone got a trophy


in second grade, the 

whole class received an award


in third grade, he had 

an F but he was so cute


his sweet teacher raised 

it to an A (look at that smile!)


in fourth grade, that little

blonde girl had such a crush


in fifth grade, you did 

his math project


in sixth grade, you also

completed his science fair project


in seventh grade, you

argued with the sub


in eighth grade, you

threatened to sue the principal


in ninth grade, you did the 

same with his coach


in tenth grade, you

covered for his crime


and in eleventh grade,

you bought him a BMW.


And now in twelfth grade,

I'm saying this to him to

impart that long-lost



Take out the trash!

Clean your own bathroom!

Make your own bed!

Get yourself up in the morning!

Volunteer at the soup kitchen!

Learn that when a girl says no

she means no, not maybe or yes!

Wash your dad's car!

Feed the dog on time then

walk him twice around the block!

Complete your homework and 

turn it in before the deadline!

Say please and thank you and

hold the door open for

that older teacher!


Got it?

See? Your feeling better already.

























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